Meldrew

The countdown to Christmas is here so it's lots of celebrations ( the sweets ), tangerines and nuts to get through and plenty of old school films on the TV. In fact as I am typing away E.T is on in the background, as usual playing to no one as the kids can't sit still long enough to watch anything.
My wife is in bed ill ( a smokescreen I think so she didn't have to get up early with Harriet, take the children out or cook the dinner ). I might actually go upstairs soon and quietly rush in, I'll probably find her relaxing eating Belgian chocolates whilst reading Hello magazine !.
Anyway me and the rest of the clan headed to the beach this morning to blow the cobwebs away. Twenty rolls down the sand dunes later we were ready for refreshments especially as the 'Devon dog beach meeting society' was beginning to grow in numbers.
I like dogs and eventually we will get one but when there's an eight foot great Dane bounding towards my little girl looking like it hasn't eaten in weeks it's definitely time to go. To be fair it's owners were shouting the obligatory " Don't worry he doesn't USUALLY bite, he's a big softy", but I couldn't take the risk. Harriet could have got away with riding it as a back marker at the Grand National it was that big.
We made it to the cafe, devoured a couple of thousand calories and returned home. Albeit on the drive back I think I may have been caught by a police camera probably for doing 32.5 in 30 zone!. Twice in a week, not good, my dislike for these devices is growing to Jeremy Clarkson type proportions.
That's the first rant of the day over, apart from the 'Beach dog club' of course. The second rant is about things that you buy that break but you can't take them back as you have lost the receipt.
The third is people that owe you money but avoid you like you have the Ebola virus. Don't stop me I'm on a roll, the fourth rant of the day concerns the 'Chavs' who have abused the local playground, it's now ruined, good work there!.
The fifth is the madness you have to contend with when attempting to buy a few pints of milk at the supermarket as the person in front is stockpiling for a possible nuclear disaster.
The Sixth is something I heard second hand that really annoyed me, a friend of mine told me he bumped into a local footballer ( no names mentioned I'm afraid ) and his wife doing some Christmas shopping. Whilst the lads were chatting the lads wife lent over and said " Isn't it great that the credit crunch doesn't affect the likes of us ".
Someone get me a gun. To think it is bad enough but to say it is a joke. Lets just hope she trips up on her Jimmy Choos', knocks herself out with her Gucci handbag and wakes up smelling the roses and joining in with the real world.
The Seventh rant of the day is about slow drivers ( you know the ones, when your in a rush they are feeding the wheel and indicating round a bend ) and the eighth and final rant goes to people who............ moan a lot!. Ignore all of the above, life is good!.

CH